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I used to believe that I wasn’t a confident person, that I just had to deal with being anxious, overwhelmed and awkward because that’s the way I was. Until I didn’t.
I learnt more about myself, exploring self-development, mindfulness, energy and manifestation. I slowly began to change the way I think. If you’re reading this thinking that it’s not possible to change the way you think, I want you to know I used to feel that way too. Here’s how I overcame some of my challenges…
Being a Highly Sensitive Person*, throughout my life I’ve often felt quite overwhelmed by the world around me. I struggled to talk to new people and felt uncomfortable in myself. I became slightly more confident over the years but a lot of it was for show. I’ve always struggled with anxiety, especially in social situations. I would worry about what people thought, having constant negative self-talk going round my mind and avoiding certain situations.
*High sensitivity is a personality trait identified by Elaine Aron. HSPs make up about 20% of the general population.
When I was 19, I moved to university. It was challenging, but I started to grow in confidence, make new friends and enjoy my new freedom. When I was a month into my first year of university and my exciting journey into becoming an adult, my mum died unexpectedly. As you’d expect, it was a difficult time. This set me back so much emotionally and mentally, and I started to struggle again.
On the surface, you’d have thought I was dealing with things well. I thought that just getting on with it was the way to move through it. I felt like I had to be strong and keep living my life. In a sense, I was right to want to keep living my life. However, I was pushing my emotions down and avoiding feeling what I needed to feel, which wasn’t good for me. If only I had the self-awareness that I have now. Going to university was one of the best things I ever did. It did so much for me and I had the best time. And yet those 3 years were some of my toughest. At one point I realised I might need some support, so I signed up for the free university counselling service. It didn’t do much for me. I carried on as I was, muddling through, keeping busy and ignoring what was going on inside.
After leaving university, someone close to me introduced me to the Law of Attraction. It fascinated me – I didn’t understand how it could work but started to learn about how powerful our thoughts and beliefs are. From this point, I started to become more aware and pick up on things related to self-development in the world around me.
My brain was filtering in more and more positive information all the time, through my Reticular Activating System. The Reticular Activating System is like a door in your mind that only lets in important information, such as what it already knows, and what you pay attention to. It filters out information that it deems unnecessary. When we focus our attention on something, we open up our unconscious mind to let that in. This is how you start to reprogramme your subconscious thoughts and is how the Law of Attraction works. When you become more intentional and start focusing on what you want, you programme that into the Reticular Activating System, and you’ll gradually notice more of that appearing in your life. The subconscious mind is running constantly, and runs around 95% of our lives – our habits, behaviours, beliefs, thoughts, emotions and how we live our life. This is why it’s so important to build that awareness and start letting in what you want to grow. You can learn what to let in by getting really clear on what you want to achieve.
I started to learn more about self-development. I decided to dig deeper and started working with a Psychotherapist & Hypnotherapist. We worked through why I was feeling how I did, and it all came down to beliefs that had formed from a young age about myself and the world. I started to learn about how my own mind worked. This was the key in understanding that I could change the way I think if I wanted to. She supported me to understand myself more, make changes and overcome some of the challenges that had been with me for a long time. I started to take more control over my life through working with my unconscious mind.
Following this I discovered reiki, which helped me to understand my energy and how I could become more balanced. I connected with myself. Things began to feel more aligned and like they were happening for me. I came to understand that everything is connected, and what we put out into the world we get back. I invested in myself, working with amazing life coaches. I discovered I had limiting beliefs, so I worked with a coach to release these beliefs that were holding me back from living the life I wanted to.
Limiting beliefs are unconscious beliefs that are no longer serving you, and you believe to be absolutely true. Usually, we’re not consciously aware we have these stories and beliefs as they’re subconscious. Limiting beliefs can come at any age, but are usually formed between the ages of 0-7 to protect ourselves in some way.
A sign that you might have a limiting belief is that there’s something you really want but you’re just not getting it. As much as you try to change things, you just can’t. Limiting beliefs can sound like, I’m not good enough, I am not worthy, I can’t have that, I have to work really hard to make money, I can’t do that. I overcame these limiting beliefs by becoming aware of them, recognising and challenging them one by one. I chose what I wanted to believe instead, reframing and changing them into more empowering beliefs. This was done through Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which is all about reprogramming the subconscious mind to achieve better results in life.
The life coaching process also introduced me to the power of setting goals, manifestation & mindset. I became completely fascinated with how the mind works and wanted to learn more. Through doing this work, I’ve been able to dig deep to release the things that were holding me back, experience breakthroughs, change the way I think and grow in ways I never thought possible. All while making some amazing connections with others on their healing journey and feeling so supported by various practitioners. I decided I’d love to help other people in the same way. I want to be able to help people who feel the way I used to feel – not feeling good about themselves, thinking it’s impossible to change.
I trained in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Life Coaching & Hypnotherapy, and became a Reiki practitioner. I started working with clients to support them to heal using a holistic approach, guiding them to become aware of what’s going on for them unconsciously and release the things that are holding them back.
Having support from people who can hold space for you while navigating these changes is so valuable. That’s why I’m passionate about wellbeing and being able to support others through 1:1 coaching and workshops. Using a powerful combination of the tools that have helped me, I’m here to help others to discover the answers they already have inside them.
This journey has led me to where I am today, feeling confident, calm and balanced, and I’m grateful for every part of it.